In Answer to Andee

I wrote this in response to Andee Scarantino’s “Going off Script” Substack post. We have very little in common, me and Andee (or Andee and I, depending on the editor), except for everything, so we repost and trade comments. It’s the 21^st Century version of meeting for breakfast to talk about nothing other than all that matters.

Confession: this piece has been tweaked. If’n I ever manage to write something exactly the way I want it on a first pass, I’ll know my time has come. Or not. As the great Fats Waller would say, “One never knows, do one?”

And so now I must speak up.

With all the noise demonizing LGBTQIA folks—definitely a script—few realize the true danger we pose, to wit: we have access to both male and female thought processes and sensibilities. Not all of us, of course; primarily the ones in the middle, the Bi-, Trans-, and Queer, aka nonbinary.

We automatically hear other people's scripts even if we don't recognize them as such. In fact, quite a many of us follow our own party-line script to label the "anti" folk as haters because, well, they come across that way, don't they? Their script is odious, its intention to spread misinformation, conflict, and divisiveness. But don't be fooled; it's grounded in true confusion, Humans knee-jerk react to bewilderment with fear, fear manifests as anger, and anger spews as hate.

Stupid human nature. Gets ya every time, don't it?

Those who live by a script of love see this reality as something to combat, but that's kinda self-defeating, isn't it? In fact, if we're gonna to go down that road (which, apparently I am), life itself is equally self-defeating. I mean, we're all gonna die, ya can't take it with you, money can buy loyalty, sex (and souls) but not love, blah blah blah, etc. and scooby dooby do.

So what's the answer? I think it's a combination of Tim Walz's "Mind your own business," Myles Munroe's "The greatest tragedy in life is not death, but a life without purpose," and Mr. Rogers' ''Be kind." All wonderful yet equally tough platitudes to actually live by for us corporeal beings.

Bottom line; everybody has a script. Seeing others' is a great first step; seeing our own is a tremulous experience; accepting that diversity has more plusses than minuses (but it does have both) can induce a delicious spiritual high—until the sink backs up or some dimwit (aka script-provoked, aka frightened inner child, aka on their final rope thread) runs their truck into a group of pedestrians.

I, you, all of us cannot fix it. It's too vast. We can only mend the frayed edges. And were I to throw in a philosophical wrap-up, I might posit that said mending is the whole point of life. Be kind. Help as many people as you can, not for the applause but for the purpose. And mind your own business when life gets confusing. Avert your eyes. Get thee an ice cream cone.

Read an uncomfortable book. Think about why it’s uncomfortable. Stretch your perspective just a bit.

End of diatribe. Sorry, Andee, for intruding on your Substack—but also not sorry and thanks for the opportunity. After all, in all the universe, there is no such thing as a one-sided coin.